Attack is not always the best form of defence. At least you are now ready to actively meet expectations. If you stay cool and composed you'll soon see the new chance you are given.
Things are getting tougher and it's more important than ever to think ahead and consider your possibilities. It's certainly not the time for rash decisions based on gut-feelings.
You feel terribly inhibited and aggressive at the same time. Try to calm down, relax and come to terms with yourself.